That’s the first step. Stop trying. Stop trying to be patient. Stop trying to get along. Stop trying to understand their perspective, their feelings, their needs. (you’ll regret it)

Stop caring. Stop caring about their goals, what makes them happy, their dreams, and spend all your time pursuing your own goals because YOLO. (if you want to do it alone)

Stop waiting on them because you are way too important and busy and in a rush to wait for the person you love and they are just dragging you down (consider all the facts first).

Stop doing the little things that you always did when you first got married to make them feel special, important, cherished, loved.

Stop going out of your way because you matter more and you should not have to work so hard to make a marriage work since it’s supposed to be easy (not).

Stop calling them, texting them, writing them love letters, telling them you appreciate them, miss them, can’t wait to see them and be with them ( they will do the same)

Stop having sex because you just don’t feel like it and does it even matter, (yes).

Stop dressing nicely, managing your weight, working out, showering, brushing your teeth and all those things that just take too much effort because it’s just your spouse anyway.

Stop spending time going places together, drinking coffee, sitting outside, taking walks, because there are much more exciting things you could be doing, ( not really.)

Stop being thankful for your spouse and start looking around at other people and then compare them to your spouse and start picking them apart. (bad idea)

Stop bragging about them to your friends and start telling everyone all their flaws. (you’d like it if they did that, right?)

Stop being honest and open and start thinking negatively all the time about your relationship and the future and your spouse. (it will make the destructive process go faster)

What? You don’t want to destroy your marriage after all? You want to save it? It’s possible, of course it takes two, but you can do your part. Start by doing all of these things instead of NOT doing them. Understand that it takes hard work and communication and sacrifice and patience and time.  And always pray for your partner and your marriage even when you are mad at them. Pray for protection from your own tendency to lust, envy, anger, resentment.  At least if things don’t work out, you will know you did your best.