I don’t know if it’s hormones or what but I’ve just lost my desire to ultrarace, as in run fast for a long time. I had already signed up for the 50k, and I didn’t want to drop, but I probably should have dropped to the 25k. The race has three mountains, up and down each one. But the first mountain you do it TWICE. Well, you start in the dark and my headlamp messed up and it slowed me down and I ended up running ALONE on a mountain in the desert in pitch black. It was okay but I was slow. I didn’t want to fall on the constant rocks so I picked my way. It was mostly hiking. So the sun came up and I finished that loop in 2:38 and we were supposed to be done with BOTH loops in 5:00. I didn’t feel like pushing that hard, so I dropped. But I’m totally serious, I did not care. I was not upset. I just turned in my chip and with the permission of the race director, I went and climbed the third mountain. The second mountain is kinda boring and the climb up is super technical but not really fun. So I did the one that I really like. I had a good time and I will probably go back next year.Friend: It sounds like you have your priorities right and that’s what counts.
Thank you, friend, for caring and asking what happened and not judging. I appreciate you!
More Details not given in Messenger: About the headlamp issue,we started at 6 AM in the dark and right when we got on the trail, the light came detached on one side of the head strap and was dangling/swinging so I could not see the trail. I had my hiking poles in my hands so I was trying to run without falling on the rocks of all shapes and sizes . I should have stopped immediately and fixed it, but instead I kept trying to go. I climbed up the first 500 foot stair climb with great difficulty and everyone passed me. After I fixed the headlamp, I started doing some running, but I was getting out of breath for some reason. The trail markings were very small so I had to watch closely and I almost went down the wrong path more than once.
Looking at my Strava report from my race, I am pretty sure I could have finished the race in time to make the cutoffs, I just didn’t feel like it and I am good with the fact that I did what I wanted to do. Why should I force myself when it’s supposed to be fun? I have nothing to prove. Who really knows what happened in my head? I trained all summer for this race, in 100 degree weather, alone on isolated trails doing hill repeats over coyote poop. But on this day, I was not in the right mind for a 50k. Running that first loop alone in the pitch black, waiting for the sun to come up, is something that I feel proud of . If I had been with another runner, maybe I would have kept going. But this is the way it played out. I’m sure other runners will understand. Yesterday, Wednesday, I went out and ran a road 5k , my first steps running since Saturday, and it felt good. I’m not done with running.
Blue Skies and Green Pastures 
Great photos! God bless you in your decisions about running! He will show you the way.😊
Thank you , Ryan! God’s will be done. That is what I prayed before the race when I felt unsure about even starting and I trust that He was in control. 🙂
Great, fabulous photos, my friend. I most certainly do not think less you for not running as much 🙂 It’s okay, sometimes, you may feel like it again later; but for now, it’s ok, my friend. You most certainly have been an encouragement to me, in this post
Thank you, Brenda ! Seasons of life, right?
Right! It’s ok 👌🏽
Congratulations on your race. DNFs happen and so does the desire to run. Do whatever makes you happy. I hope to see you on the trails again.
Thanks! I’ll see you out there.
You have such a great attitude. Even though you DNF you still focus on what truly matters. And like you said you have nothing to prove. A lot of people don’t even try in the first place so I think you definitely did a great job!
Thanks ! I appreciate the kind words.
As you know, life is all about seasons. Sometimes we feel like doing one thing, sometimes there is only time for something else. If you focus on what God is calling you to do, you will be on the right track 😉 He will show you the way. God Bless!!
Thanks for these wise words! I really want to be in God’s will and when I am training a lot for races it sometimes feels like I am too busy to do what God might have for me. Hope you are doing well! God bless you, too!
[…] to race before the pandemic started. I think I really quit caring in September of 2019 after my DNF at Sky Island. But I kept trying to regain my motivation. I really did not know if I could be happy if I left […]