Friend: It sounds like you have your priorities right and that’s what counts.
Thank you, friend, for caring and asking what happened and not judging. I appreciate you!
More Details not given in Messenger: About the headlamp issue,we started at 6 AM in the dark and right when we got on the trail, the light came detached on one side of the head strap and was dangling/swinging so I could not see the trail. I had my hiking poles in my hands so I was trying to run without falling on the rocks of all shapes and sizes . I should have stopped immediately and fixed it, but instead I kept trying to go. I climbed up the first 500 foot stair climb with great difficulty and everyone passed me. After I fixed the headlamp, I started doing some running, but I was getting out of breath for some reason. The trail markings were very small so I had to watch closely and I almost went down the wrong path more than once.
Looking at my Strava report from my race, I am pretty sure I could have finished the race in time to make the cutoffs, I just didn’t feel like it and I am good with the fact that I did what I wanted to do. Why should I force myself when it’s supposed to be fun? I have nothing to prove. Who really knows what happened in my head? I trained all summer for this race, in 100 degree weather, alone on isolated trails doing hill repeats over coyote poop. But on this day, I was not in the right mind for a 50k. Running that first loop alone in the pitch black, waiting for the sun to come up, is something that I feel proud of . If I had been with another runner, maybe I would have kept going. But this is the way it played out. I’m sure other runners will understand. Yesterday, Wednesday, I went out and ran a road 5k , my first steps running since Saturday, and it felt good. I’m not done with running.