Letting Go is Hard

I think I’m getting an ulcer . This Christmas season has been excruciating for me. I’ve been fighting tears on the daily . It’s hard to accept that I have no ability to create “happiness” in my family’s lives. I’ve been working on that all year. But having a Christmas without my kids is just freaking hard! And it’s not just their presence, it’s that I miss actually having a relationship with them. My heart is really sad.

But God doesn’t want me to base my joy principally on my family . I need to reorient my focus, again. I have to let go of the dreams I had for them and trust that God has His own plans to use them for His glory . I must be patient as He sanctifies them. I did the best I could at the time. It’s out of my hands now. They are adults.

Letting go sucks. I’ll probably delete this.

13 comments

  1. Our oldest is 16, and while we still have lots of littles at home, I know the time is coming when she will be “leaving the nest”. I have mixed feelings about it, on one hand, I can’t wait to see who she becomes and what she does in her life…..on the other hand…..I don’t want her to get older or ever leave or etc. etc. It’s hard and I’m not even at the stage you are at. Like you, I do my best to orient my focus on God and pray for them on a daily basis….it’s all we can do! God Bless you my friend this Christmas season and may He help you find your focus and joy!! God Bless!

      • I hear you! I pray we are still included, but our oldest has already expressed her desire to move….to Alaska! Which is great….but all the way across the country…and then some! Lol. We aren’t discouraging her, but…… 🙂 God Bless!

  2. I feel your ache Paula. I was just thinking about my eldest this morning…,she and I used to have the greatest, deepest conversations even into her early 20’s..but the longer time goes by the more I can sense the drift.. Glad I read this before you deleted it.

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