pkadams

Reflections

It’s been a month since my mom died . I haven’t felt like writing . I threw my full body and mind into my new job doing taxes and tax assistance remotely for a major company, partly because it was actually required in order to survive the first weeks and partly because it’s easier than dealing with real life.

What’s going on in real life…well let’s just say, one crisis ended when my mom left this earth and a new one started. My husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Yep. We’ve joined THAT group: tests , copays, deductibles, and driving to appointments. Getting old is not fun.

I was sitting here thinking about my mom and listening to her voice on some voicemails on my phone and wishing SO much that I could tell her about my job. In her last few weeks her cognitive function was being affected by the disease of ALS. She knew I was in training and would be starting my job soon, but she was so weak that we didn’t really talk much. She couldn’t talk at all. But she also struggled with listening. So we mostly watched TV. But when I got hired on early in the year she was able to think and talk a little and she was so happy for me.

I’m really sad that I can’t share my daily experiences doing tax customer service with my mom. Of all people, my mom would have really enjoyed hearing about it. She was a travel agent but she had amazing customer service skills! Plus she loved stories about people and every day I have interesting encounters. But I’m thankful she knew I had a job to look forward to after being a stay home mom for so many years. She was excited that I would get to use my money skills and my people skills in the same job, as am I .

I had almost given up on believing I’d ever find a career that would use my gifts and education, but every day God brings me opportunities to speak with people who need someone to talk to. They call in about their taxes , but some of them are lonely , depressed, anxious, or just need to hear a kind voice who can help them finish their taxes.

I feel very blessed to get to talk and listen to them . I didn’t realize when I took the job that it would be like this. Even the few who are angry and upset need someone who can remain calm and empathetic. It can be difficult to be berated by a stranger , but when they change their tune, it feels like a victory! And it’s a great feeling when I help someone solve a problem and they are happy .

Well that’s all I have for today . I miss you my blogger friends . I’ll catch up soon.

24 comments

  2. Ah, Paula, I did not realize your mom had stepped into eternity. I could tell she was not feeling well by the picture. and Hubby’s diagnosis…. You have a lot on your plate. thank you for keeping us in the loop. Big hug from a non hugging fellow blogger. DM (My dad passed this last May, I still don’t think it has really sunk in) He too was a man of Faith so I have no doubt I will see him again when it’s my turn, meanwhile, as you said, life does go on.

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  3. Praying for you, my friend. I am so very sorry to hear of losing your mom and then your husband’s diagnosis on top of that. I’m glad you are finding your job a great fit for your gifts and talents. Take your time, grief is a funny beast and likes to come and go. My prayers and thoughts are with you. God Bless.

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      • Funny you should ask…. 🙂 I am actually pregnant right now with number 10 🙂 We are just at 9 weeks and everyone is super excited. It’s definitely getting a bit harder as I get older…but we are also aware this might be the last one, there might be another one in our future, but….definitely getting towards the end of this season of life. I am praying for you!

  4. Thank you for checking in. You are always in my prayers. Take as much time away as you need.

    I’ve also spent time as a tax preparer. Being able to connect with people and serve them was the best part of the job. I received lots of sentimental gifts, jars of jam, thank you cards, drawings. People really appreciate a kind heart and a listening ear.

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  5. Hi, so sorry to hear about your sad news.

    I hope your new venture goes well. Its comforting to know that we can help others, even in our own darkest hour. When we achieve things in our lives, we always wish our parents were there to share in the joy. Deep down, we do it for others, not just ourselves.

    we can also take comfort in knowing that we’ll see them again some day. Take care.

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  7. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, Paula, and your husband’s trials, which of course are yours, too, you being “one” and all…

    What a blessing to have a job that suits you so well, though! And I don’t know that I wouldn’t call that “real life,” although I know what you meant. This sounds like a true calling of God, which you are uniquely suited for. Think of how many people you’re being used to bless – in more ways than one!

    And visible or not, I think your mother is smiling on you. 😉❤️

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