It’s common for former addicts to want to help other addicts . They have experience with the struggle and the cravings and hopelessness of addiction. They know that freedom is possible and they want to see others come out of that slavery.

Well today I would like to humbly write about the slavery of PRIDE, because I have experience with being humbled by God and freed from the lies of Satan that kept me focused on my own entitlement, my feelings, my specialness, my “rights”, and my flesh .

Pride is first and foremost a sin against God. Pride sticks its tongue out and says I don’t care what you say . Pride also says I can do it myself! And pride says I’m not guilty, you are. Yes, pride accuses God of being not good enough and not enough to make you happy. Pride says I need this other thing more than God. That’s why God hates pride. Satan’s sin was pride . Adam and Eve’s sin was pride. Pride is the sin behind irresponsible and inconsiderate and illegal behavior

What people who are trapped in pride don’t understand is how blind they are to their own faults. They really believe that they are in control and doing what is best and that they deserve it and more. Pride causes us to see others as less than us and sometimes as a hindrance to our own rightful happiness, job status, things, etc. if things aren’t going well, we blame others. When things are good, we take the credit . This is the “normal” mindset of most of the world today.

Prideful people don’t see themselves as bad people. They might be very friendly and have lots of friends and be successful in their jobs and other activities. This feeds the pride.. Obviously, to them, they deserve these things because they work harder and do things right. But as the proverb says,

Proverbs 16:18[18] Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

In my case, my pride was very subconscious because I thought of myself as insecure and I was not confident around confident, successful or very good-looking people . My pride grew over the years as I tried to build myself up by joining the homeschool community and trying be a more confident and successful person. I desperately wanted to feel good about myself. My pride was actually built on top of the fear of not being good enough. I think this is common.

My pride arose when I failed to humble myself and trust God with my feelings of inadequacy. I tried to feel better about myself by my own good works. But it started with rebellious behavior in my high school and college years. I was socially awkward and instead of taking it to God, I turned to drugs, alcohol and wild living. I was also working and going to school, and even church. But I wasn’t trusting God with everything. I settled down and cleaned up the outside of my life, but inside I still was not truly humble. This expressed itself in critical words, anxiety, people pleasing, dopamine addiction, and emotional instability.

Of course I never thought of myself as prideful during those times. In my mind I was acting in justified ways. Those were defensive reactions to unpleasant feelings of guilt that I didn’t understand were coming from my own heart. God was gracious to me and kept guiding me to Christian mentors and friends. Eventually God put me in a situation where He forced me to look at my own deceitful heart. Then the change began!

Fear of rejection and abandonment can set us up for self defense mechanisms such as bullying or false pride . This is how we protect ourselves from the emotional pain of feeling different or left out of the group. Being part of a group and having the approval of others is a very human need. For an emotionally and spiritually healthy person, this need does not overpower our other needs such as integrity and honesty. But the need for acceptance can lead to pridefulness .

Of course this is not the only reason people have pride. We are born with it. Some people struggle with pride more than others. The problem is that in today’s culture, pride has been flipped from a sin to a virtue. Other cultures have done the same thing and ended up as failed civilizations of history books.

If you search the definition of pride , you’ll find a lot of positive things. If you keep looking, you might find some clarification of different kinds of pride . I’m not talking about pride as dignity . I’m talking about the pride that says “I don’t have to follow the rules. I’m not afraid of God. I’m entitled to extra benefits in life because I’m special. And, if you’re not like me, you’re not as good as me.” This kind of pride allows people to justify any and all kinds of choices and actions.

What’s the solution to all this secret or open pridefulness? Shame. You have to deal with it. Be ashamed of your pride! You have to admit your sin and feel guilty for it. Only when you are willing to explore the depths of your secret beliefs and fears and uncover the pride lurking in them can you begin to be transformed by God.

This is why I say pride is like an invisible trap or a cage. Until we open our minds by humbling ourselves and letting ourselves feel the shame, we can’t see the trap. If you are really good at denial like me, your pride might be so well hidden that you can’t see it yet. You think you’re the victim of circumstances or bad people. And maybe you were as a child, but now that you’re an adult, you’re responsible for your own life. You can’t keep blaming your choices on your childhood.

You have to break the cycle by humbly acknowledging your need for help and your inability to save yourself. I don’t mean in a 12 step program. I mean by turning to the one true God who made you and who can actually change your life! When we ask for mercy and forgiveness , God graciously and generously gives it! But pride often gets in the way by keeping us focused on the faults and guilt of others who have hurt us or failed us in some way. By continuing to focus on them we can’t get out of the trap .

The KEY to freedom from pride is this: recognizing that all good things come from God and we are totally dependent on him. We are his servants. We are not our own boss. He will let us go astray if that’s our desire. He loves us, but he won’t bow down to any man. If we truly want happiness and freedom we must submit our will and lives to God. But pride won’t give up easily. It’s always going to be there ready to get offended or want its way. But once we become aware of our own pridefulness, we can recognize and control it. We can repent faster. We can apologize. We can choose to ignore and forgive offenses and seek love and reconciliation when necessary. We can humbly acknowledge our own faults to others without devastating our sense of self because our identity is no longer a slave to pride.

Being prideful can be exhausting. Free yourself from the trap and the pressure of being superior to others. Repent and confess your sins to your loving, merciful Heavenly Father and watch how your life will change!

Lord help us to repent and trust you alone for our righteousness and salvation . In Jesus name, Amen