A lot of the time I keep a good attitude by just ignoring the drama around me . La la la la! Look at the pretty bird! But the Facebook post is often far different than what’s happening in the daily. Usually the stupid and sad and irritating are mostly balanced out by the good and hopeful and enjoyable.
But sometimes reality rushes the stage and the lights are thrown on full brightness and it becomes more difficult to keep the act going.
This is one of those times. I hate January. It never fails to be terribly real , forcing set changes and rewritten plots. And honestly, this recurring “stuff” has been wearing me down for years now.
For people who don’t understand living from one trauma , drama, and heartbreaking scene to the next, I hope you will try to imagine it so you can have more empathy for the rest of us.
During the unexpected intermissions I try to stay positive , even better than before. But this is hard. I want my daughter to come back home so we can resume the play. I want all the other people I love to be happy.
But today I will allow myself to feel the weight of all the pain in my heart for just a little while. Because I am a real person, not an actor.
Blue Skies and Green Pastures 
Hugs❤️
I hear you! Some of us have to deal with a lot of trauma and distress and barely have time to ever come out of survival mode. I’m often trying to be strong and cheerful myself, in part because that’s just what moms do. Try to be extra kind and patient with yourself, you have a lot on your plate.
Always looking for the silver lining, but as you know , we just get tired sometimes. One little nice thing , I picked up a really cute free nightstand that someone left by the road this morning on the way to the hospital. Made me happy . Hubby and I prayed together, too. God sends me support.
I’m sorry you’re feeling down or have tough situations before you. I do think that looking at facebook or instagram makes it worse.
Just saw your post. More January nonsense! Sorry 😞
No reason to say you’re sorry!
Just sorry your party was cancelled and hubby is sick. I know you’ve had a lot of disappointing things happen lately. ❤️
Okay. I misunderstood. I am actually happy about today and all weekend that we weren’t encumbered with entertaining people! It’s been a relaxing weekend and my husband is getting better.
Thinking of you
Thank you 🙂
Hugs to you, my friend. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability.
Thank you 🙂
As I have blogged at one time or another, depression is a frequent visitor to my brain. I am past suicidal considerations; that train left long ago. But the depression that took me close to that abyss often comes calling still.
Refusing medication, I simply find a place to cry “alone” even though with Jesus, I know I’m never completely abandoned. So we cry together until the fog lifts or responsibilities come calling. And we walk on together, knowing someday He will wipe away every tear, and that is enough.
Praying for you, dear friend, and weeping a little tonight for what you are going through.
You, also, are NOT alone.
❤️&🙏, c.a.
C. A. at the risk of being self-promoting (actually most of this post was written by a man at our church), I think you would be encouraged by his testimony: http://seekingdivineperspective.com/2024/01/05/last-resort-or-final-solution-2/
Praying for you, brother.
I’m so sorry you suffer in this way. Sometimes the right medication is the miracle God sends. It might be worth a try. Our bodies are corrupted from the Fall, it’s not always a spiritual issue. Hugs!
I tried some mild antidepressants shortly after my one episode of suicidal ideations. It made me feel loopy and disoriented, so I decided to just use the depression to draw closer to the Lord. So when He returns, it’ll all be okay. Keep me in your prayers. You and John and Grace are daily in mine.
❤️&🙏, c.a.
I will. But just FYI, there is one called Wellbutrin that works differently and helped John when he was really depressed. They are not all the same. I tried Prozac once and stopped immediately.
Paula, I’m praying your daughter can come home soon. I don’t know the situation, but I don’t have to, God does. And yes, sometimes the only way to describe how we feel is “tired.” May He be our strength today and always.
She may come home on a ventilator or with a trache. Only God knows her days. He is comforting me!
Don’t know your troubles but sometimes allowing yourself to feel the pain, weight and sorrow is exactly the thing that keeps you healthy.
Take your time. It’s necessary.
Eventually the sun will shine again.
Yes, I felt better just after writing this down. And praying with my husband. Thanks 🙂
Sometimes it feels like we go from on crisis to the next and on and on. Very sorry to hear you are experiencing the same. Your daughter is in my prayers! God Bless!
Yes it does, friend. God bless you!
Your vulnerability is palpable. January can be tough. Sending positive vibes your way.