It’s not you, it’s me.
You’re friendly, good-looking and tan and have money.
You have good taste in clothes and you’re funny.
You’re healthy and positive and like tacos and hiking.
It’s the inflation and traffic you bring I’m not liking.
Your hybrids and Teslas and soy-lattes are sweet
But here in Texas we drive trucks and eat meat.
We pray to Jesus and Trump is our President
we hate taxes and don’t trust the government.
I’m glad you like Texas, but I’m sorry to tell you
Our cities are full and and our roads are, too!
I understand wanting to leave the West coast
The taxes and prices are nothing to boast.
The mess was made by the rule of a few
and now you think we should turn Texas blue?
And really I don’t think you’d like us that much
we have very few mountains and our beaches suck.
I’ve heard that Detroit and Chicago are nice
and you can buy houses at a very low price!
So sell your big house and send your UHaul
to any state but mine, because this one is FULL!
Sincerely, with no offense intended,
The Great State of Texas
PS, my friend Colorado just called to say,
they’re full there, too, so please stay away.