In this stressed out and lonely world, many people are searching for a lost feeling: happiness. Not to mention that we are often pressured by others to be happy! But is it possible to make yourself be happy? I think it’s more helpful to think of happiness as a result of certain intentional lifestyle and thinking changes. You will become a happier person when you change your habits and thoughts, which takes a lot more effort than just reading an article about happiness, but it will be worth it.

So what things can you do to become a happier person? The internet is full of ideas that you have probably already read , such as

• helping others through volunteering or simple acts of kindness,
• making friends
• focusing on the positive,
• breaking your phone addiction,
• adopting healthy habits like going to be earlier and not looking at your phone before bed,
• eating healthier,
• consuming less or no caffeine,
• seeking out friendships,
• using mindfulness practices and sleep apps
• trying new hobbies,
• exercise such as yoga, walking, and weight lifting,
• and so on.

Easier said than done! The above list is more about habits. What is missing from the list are some preliminary steps that will make it possible for you to achieve your goal of feeling more happy. I hate to tell you but this is the hard part.

You need to work on what’s going on in your head first. We live in a very dysfunctional world and it can be overwhelming to those of us who feel things strongly causing either an emotional shut down or becoming hypersensitive. Work on these things.

• Accepting yourself and your emotions at this moment in time.
• Believe that you can do this. It’s verifiable that if you don’t believe something is possible, it usually doesn’t work.
• Be okay with not being a cheerleader type, not everyone is. It’s okay to be thoughtful and quiet.
• Being kind to yourself as you work through this process.
• Not being a perfectionist. This can be a big reason for your misery.
• Accepting others as they struggle for happiness. Root out feelings of resentment and bitterness.
• Starting to look at difficult people as broken and needy human beings just like you. Pray for them.
• Learning to set boundaries with truly toxic people may be necessary, but don’t be overly focused on other people’s faults.
• Acknowledging that your unhappiness comes from being defensive and fearful and possibly traumatized and having unrealistic expectations of others, things inside you.
• Determining to be brave and take emotional risks
• Not trying to change your life in a day. Baby steps.
• Recognizing unhelpful habits and addictions and desiring to change and eliminate them
• Letting go of destructive relationships, possibly moving or changing jobs
• Seeking carefully chosen outside help or medication when necessary
• Understanding that it’s okay not to feel ‘happy’ all the time. It’s normal to have moods.
• Learning that our brains are not just emotional but physical and they get wired towards certain emotions. But we’re also more than electrical impulses!
• Learning about the spiritual part of ourselves from God’s perspective and seeking God (This is not a minor thing, it is essential.)

After you do all of that, you are ready to take more practical steps towards making friends and living a fuller, more peaceful, and happier life.

You might wonder why I didn’t mention much about Jesus, God or Christianity, considering this is a major focus of my blog. I DO believe you need Jesus! But Jesus is not a self-help method. He is way more than that. I don’t want to diminish Him by putting him on a list. Please search my blog for more posts if you want to learn how knowing Jesus and surrendering to Him will enable you to become truly at peace.