Originally posted in June 2018 by me. Note that there is no chicken yard behind the boys.
Same shit, different day.
It was a saying when I was younger, I’m not sure if it is still being used. It means that you had a typical , boring day. But in my case, I think SSDD is not a negative thing. One thing I’ve noticed through the magic of social media, especially Facebook memories, is that my life has been pretty routine, repetitive and predictable over the years, at least since the internet has been keeping track for me. At first I was bothered by that . I thought, Wow, I am a boring person! I did the exact same thing last year on this day! But then I realized that there is a good reason for the sameness. I know what I like!
I do what I like, travel, running, hiking , over and over, based on the season, and based on what is offered at various times of year. I would do those things even more often if had the chance, but I think God made seasons to force us to mix it up. In fact, I’m so bad about falling in love with something and wanting to do it ALL THE TIME, that I get sad when I can’t. So it is actually helpful for me to see these memories and remember that I have had a lot of fun times in my life and I will probably have more fun times, even if this day, week , or month is kinda boring.
Another good thing about these social media reminders is that I tend to live in the moment and I also have a very bad memory. These two things can tend to make me forget the good times and the happy times when I am having a bad day. I love it that other people can remember things better and they tell stories that include me or my kids having fun, good times I’ve forgotten. It helps me say, oh, I DO have a good life! Oh, my kids DO have a good childhood! Oh, I am SO blessed! Because some days I feel sorry for myself or that I’m a terrible mom or that God doesn’t care about me. But based on these Facebook memories, I can see that I’m a pretty good mom and I have done a lot of cool stuff and gone on some great trips.
Of course , one bad thing about looking back on the Timeline is I can see some of the dumb and negative stuff I’ve posted in the past on a bad day or just a thoughtless moment, and that makes me feel like an idiot and embarrassed at my stupidity. It does make me try harder to think before I click POST! And thankfully we can delete those posts, but the damage may have been done.
People can take your posts way more seriously than you meant them, or vice versa. Or they can misunderstand completely what thoughts and ideas you are trying to convey if you don’t state them clearly. If I am talking to someone face to face, we will have an actual conversation , back and forth, with facial expressions, body language, and voice changes, getting to the real meaning and hopefully coming to understand each other’s point of view. But let’s face it, most of us do the same thing if we use social media regularly. We post things we later regret or have to clarify. We have to forgive ourselves, learn, and try to do better at communicating, being compassionate, and putting ourselves in other’s shoes.
That is why I think Facebook can be a good thing for people like me who have poor social skills. Part of having ADHD is not thinking about the other person before you act of speak. It’s not that you don’t care, you just get in a rush. Facebook has given me good feedback and enough shame, if you will, to make me slow down and think. But I still slip up and I am thankful for the friends who are forgiving towards me. I think they see my real self, the person who really does care about people.
What about you? Do you look at your Facebook memories? Does it make you feel good or bad ?